


Fight

by PEZWolf



Series: Project obsidian [9]
Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Self Harm, Varian hurting himself, but is not suicidal, but still be careful when reading, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23670310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PEZWolf/pseuds/PEZWolf
Summary: Varian knows that he is not perfect, but he has a way of being perfect. Perfect scars cover his body, they make him perfect. I mean come on people, he is not suicidal so what is the problem? TRIGGER WARNING
Relationships: Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider & Varian, Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel, Lance Strongbow & Varian, Rapunzel & Varian (Disney)
Series: Project obsidian [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695232
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Fight

TRIGGER WARNING  
Varian was never the strongest kid on the block. If anything he was the weakest one. He had always been the one to be cornered and beat up just because he could not defend himself. By the age of ten, he was used to it and knew how to take care of the injuries that he would receive from the other kids. It had simply become part of his life. He always knew when he had a broken nose, or a sprained wrist, or a dislocated shoulder. And he knew how to deal with blood loss very well. People thought that he did not like the sight, and more likely passed out then do anything about it. But that was not the case if anything he had gotten so used to the sight of blood that he actually liked. It had some sort of addiction to him. He was in no way suicidal whatsoever, but he just liked blood. He liked to feel the rush that he got when he felt his blood drain out of his system and onto his skin. It was a wonderful feeling.  
Now Varian knew that was weird to like blood, but what can he say, he was a weird child. He never told his dad about his addiction, but he never thought it would be necessary. He had had this addiction for many years now and he was not doing anything really that bad. He was not hurting his dad in any way. He was not using any money to buy drugs or anything like that. He was already using what they had beforehand. His dad had given him a knife when he had turned 11. He had said his dad before he also gave him a knife at that age as a way of saying that you are now a responsible person and can take care of himself.   
Well, Varian was a responsible person. He had a few rough spots in his life. Like that time when he hurt everyone that he considered a friend and ended up in jail for a long time. And the time that he helps take over the kingdom with a bunch of insane people. But now he was good, he helped his friends against a thousand-year-old demon, had a good relationship with his dad, and now has all of his friends back on his good side. Of course, he was still addicted to blood, but no one needs to know about that. It was just something he did and no one else had to worry about it.   
It was a very nice day outside in the capital, but Varian was not outside, he was in his lab, he never really went outside unless he had to. He never understood why everyone liked to go outside when you could be safe inside. He was in the middle of one of his experiments when he got the itch. He knew the itch was from the scabs pulling on his skin, but he always took it as an alarm clock to feed his addiction. He never really thought about his cutting as sort of an addiction, but he would not call it a hobby, so he just called it his addiction.   
He stopped what he was doing and took the knife out. It was a clean blade as he always made sure to wipe off the blood after using it. He also sharpened the knife once a week so the blade was always in good condition.   
He rolled up his sleeve and looked at the masterpiece on his arm. Many lines ran along his arms. All of them were perfectly vertical to the ground, they were in perfect rows. All the lines were not just on his arms, they could be found on his hips and legs. He loved to look at them, they were a reminder that there is perfection in his imperfection. Those lines were perfect and well thought out, not just at random. He himself might be ugly but the lines of scars were not.   
He chose a few scabs to go over with the knife and pulled the knife across his skin. It cut into him like butter. The blood spilled out of his skin a beautiful river of red. He watched the blood drops carefully round the curve of his arm before dropping to the ground in a perfect splash.   
He did have a method for what he did. He cut his left arm for one week before he moved onto his right arm for a week. Then he moved onto his right hip and then to his left. Then his left thigh and then the right one. To finish it all off his right calf and then his left. It was a beautiful cycle that counted on. It never changed, it was always the same. He always cut three of the scars every time he cut, which was three times a day. It was the way he knew how to keep things in his life constant.   
He had done this for a while now and had learned that people really did not approve of the idea of taking a knife to your own skin. He knew it was mostly because it was considered a way of committing suicide, but that was not his purpose, but he still kept it a secret. So he always made sure that no one was around when he was indulging in his addiction. He always made sure he had bandages on hand just in case someone came looking for him. He would wind them around what was bleeding and then go meet them. He had done it so many times he was a champ at putting on bandages in record time. Also, he always made sure that the door was shut and locked when doing so. He had all of the hinges squeak just in case the lock did not work. But today was when all of that was going to change.   
As he looked at the blood dripping from his wrist he did not even think about remembering to shut the door or to lock it. He was so mesmerized by what his blood was doing that he did not even notice when Rapunzel, Eugene, and Lance all came down the stairs to find him.   
It was not until Varian heard a gasp in the room when the turned around and saw that they were all staring at him, or more like him holding a knife that was obviously dripping with his own blood.   
They all approached him slowly like he was a scared dog that they were not trying to spook him.   
“Varian, um buddy, can you hand me that knife please.” Eugene’s mostly confident self was gone. He looked pale and scared.   
“Why? I mean I am not trying to kill myself of anything.” Varian did not really get the whole deal. He was not trying to end his life so it was not really a problem that they had to worry about.   
“Well it still scares us kid, so can you at least put the knife down and let us bandage your arm.” Lance had lost his joking self and looked like he was about to throw up.   
“Sure no problem.” Varian grabbed a rag and wiped the blood of the blade and set them both on his lab table. Then he grabbed the bandages that he had nearby and started to wrap them around his arm.   
“Um, aren’t you going to clean those out.” This was the first time that Rapunzel had spoken since they had seen him with a knife. She had tears running down her face and they did not seem to have an ending.   
“Um, no, my knife that I use is always clean. I make sure that it always is. And there has not been a chance for any dirt to get into the cuts. It is fine, I have done this before. I know what I am doing.” Again, what is the big deal? He was not dying anyway.   
“How long?” Eugene again spoke up.   
“Excuse me?”   
“How long have you been cutting yourself?”  
“Um, I think about it for about four or five years now.” Who did they think he is, he can’t remember exact dates for things.   
“Four or five years!? Varian do you realize how bad this is. You are hurting yourself. You are giving yourself scars. Do you really want to live with them for the rest of your life?” Eugene was now panicking.   
“But they are perfect in my imperfection. Each of these lines is perfectly straight. There is no wavering in them, they are beautiful. I don’t want them to fade.”   
“Varian, are you hearing yourself? You are destroying yourself. And you are not imperfect. You are perfect just the way you are. You don’t need to carve into your skin just to be perfect. If anything it is destroying your perfect self.” Rapunzel walked closer to Varian and took him and in hers and looked into his eyes to show him that she was telling him the truth. Every word.   
“W-what do you mean?” This was the first time that Varian had questioned what he was doing. He had never been told what he was doing to himself was bad. Then again he never told anyone.   
Wait a minute. He kept it a secret. Usually, the things you keep a secret were things, surprises or things to protect yourself or others. Or bad things you were doing and you did not want to get caught. This was not a surprise that he was keeping from someone. This was not protecting himself or anyone else. That meant… Varian’s breath caught in his chest when he realized that they were right. They all were right.   
No one had ever told him that he was perfect until Rapunzel had told him. He always thought that he was flawed and he could never make anyone proud.   
He did not even know that tears were falling from his eyes until Rapunzel wiped them off with her thumb. She gave him a sad smile. Lance and Eugene also looked like they were about to cry as well from behind her.   
“What we mean Varian is that you are amazing,” Eugene started.  
“Smart,” Lance cut into the conversation.   
“Funny,” Rapunzel added her opinion as well.   
“Caring,” Eugene added.   
“Daring.”  
“Sweet.”   
“Condsierdate.”   
“Good ass-kicker.”  
“Interesting.”   
“Perfect kid,” they all said together.   
Now everyone was sobbing. Rapunzel pulled Varian into a tight hug. Lance and Eugene joined in as well. They stayed like that for a long time until Lance pulled back, then Eugene and lastly Rapunzel.   
“What happens now?” Varian was worried about what was going to happen to him after this.   
“Well if I know anything, I would say a habit that has been going for years is a really tough one to get rid of, but you have all of us to help you fight this kid.” Lance smiled at him with his bright face.   
“We all are here for you kid.” Eugene put his hand onto Varian’s shoulder as a way of showing his support.   
“We are going to do everything we can to help you win this battle.” Rapunzel joins Eugene’s side and put her arm around Eugene’s shoulder.   
Any battle is a difficult one to beat. You will always lose men along the way no matter how many precautions you take. It just never turns out the way that you plan. But if you have the best soldiers and leaders that you can, you are more likely to live. And Varian had the best people in the entire world at his side. He did not have to fight this on his own. He knew that he would have bad days ahead of him, but he knew with his friends at his side, he could win this fight. After all, what are friends for if they can’t help you in your struggles, whether that be internal or physical? He knew his friends would help him with this until they beat the addiction in the ass and sent it all the way to hell. It is just who they are.


End file.
